it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
