nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
