i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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