I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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