But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
