did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
