some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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