It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
