meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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