he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
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im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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