Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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