I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
