i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like death gave me a hand job
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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