Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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