I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize