you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Drunk is not a location!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize