If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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