In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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