I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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