you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
