I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
