Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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