Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize