Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They took my balls.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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