And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
