Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
