talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
