don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
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were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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