i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
