the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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