He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize