awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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