Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
