so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
