Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
