One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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