So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
