Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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