Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
