Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
