i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
