i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Are we still banned from the library?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
