I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize