are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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