speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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