I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
