Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You did what with his pubic hair?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
