omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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