You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
