this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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