dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
