your thong is hanging out like whoa
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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