i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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