I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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