The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Porn is love you can see.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
