I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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