i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
