No, drunk sperm still make babies.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
