whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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