Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
