Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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