there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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